Fanfiction!
by BagginsPotterPevensie
Summary: What happens when Merlin discovers Fanfiction and shows Arthur? Come and see everyone's reaction as YOUR thoughts are revealed to Camelot's members!One-shot.Set after Uther's death.


**Fanfiction**

**Summary: What happens when Merlin discovers Fanfiction? What are everyone's reactions? Read and find out! Set after Uther's death.**

**A/N: I don't mean to offend any shippers, I respect everyone has their own choice, so I just wrote what Arthur and Merlin's true reaction would be!**

King Arthur was sitting at the head of the table, thinking his head was going to explode, mountains of paperwork towering above him. Being King was like nothing he'd ever imagined. He knew it would be hard, but it was just _too much._ Around him his Knights weren't exactly helping. Percival was impressing a few maids and Gwaine, as usual, was drunk and telling Elyan about how he'd ended up in a dress last night.

Elyan roared with laughter, and that at least made Arthur smile. He looked at Elyan affectionately. His brother-in-law. He remembered how nervous he'd been when he'd gone to ask for Gwen's hand in marriage, shaking and wondering what Elyan would say. Gwen was by his side, talking animatedly to Leon about 'do you remembers' since they had spent their childhood together.

Suddenly, the door banged open and everyone looked up. Merlin the Court Advisor ran in, a look of horror on his face and a sheet of paper in his hand.

'Gwen!' he exclaimed. 'Whose ass did you kick? Why would you even _do_ that?' he yelled.

Everyone whipped around and stared at Gwen, trying to imagine her kicking someone's ass. That didn't bode too well with Gwaine as he fell off the table and rolled over on the floor laughing. Arthur stared at her in awe, a look of shock on his face.

Gwen blinked. Then she went over to Merlin and felt his forehead. He felt fine, but there was obviously something wrong with him. Merlin shoved the paper in her hand.

'Look!' he said proudly. 'I've got evidence!'

Gwen looked, and it was true. There, in bold letters, it said '**Guinevere, the kick-ass Warrior Queen.'**

Arthur grabbed the paper from her, and gasped. 'Merlin!' he yelled. 'Is this _**FANFICTION**_?'

'Yes Sire!' Merlin cried out joyfully. 'I found it in the bathroom this time!'

There was a scraping of chairs and then the Knights were screaming 'YAY! FANFICTION! Remember the one where Lance gets married to Gaius?' and then they were fighting and shoving to get a look at the precious paper. Arthur quickly decided since he was the King and worked so hard, he deserved to hold it. That was fair, wasn't it?

'OI!' he screamed. He swiped the paper from Lance and looked around. He decided to jump onto his chair, but then Leon grabbed his trousers and tugged. Arthur whacked him on the head with his sword, pulled his trousers up and jumped onto the table.

There was pandemonium in the Great Hall. It looked like a classroom of uncivilised humans. Lance was hitting Merlin for not giving him the paper first and Percival was trying to bite Arthur's leg in a desperate attempt. Gwaine was pulling Gwen's hair and she in turn pulled his, and then whacked him hard on the stomach.

Arthur took a deep breath. Then he yelled '**SILENCE! THE NEXT PERSON TO MAKE A SOUND WILL BE EXECUTED ON THE GROUNDS OF DENIYING THE KING FANFICTION, A MOST GREVIOUS OFFENSE!'**

There was silence. Arthur smiled. Nothing like an execution to shut everyone up. 'I will read the Fanfiction out loud so we can all hear the latest news' he called out. 'And Gwen and Gwaine, stop pulling each other's hair. They're both model material, remember? The fans said!'

'Ok, first things first people. Guinevere Leodegrance, Have you ever kicked someone's ass- apart from mine, I mean- or intend to in the future?'

'Hell yeah,' Gwen called out as she kicked Gwaine hard on the backside, causing him to finally let go of her hair.

'Cool, that's settled. And OMG, Gwen…we're going to have twins! I'm going to be a Dad!' Arthur screamed, doing some sort of weird hippy dance that Hunith had shown him. Everyone began cheering as Gwen stared in shock. 'Right…next up, Lance have you been seeing Princess Elena?'

Lance snorted. 'Not over my dead body. And why do I always get paired up with the dumbos? First the Dragon, then Gaius, now Elena? Sheesh guys, give me a break!'

'Well, the fans really want you to marry her; apparently it happens in Legend…' Arthur frowned.' Legend…_Legend_…I want to know about this _Legend_ they keep going on about. It's driving me crazy!

'Get on with it!' Merlin yelled. 'What do they say about me?'

Arthur skimmed the sheet until he found Merlin' name. 'They're still going on about your 'gorgeous' baby blues and dark raven hair' Arthur snorted. 'And they say they like your ears! Your ears, Merlin, are bigger than Gwaine's drinking capacity!'

Merlin scowled. Leon leant over and whispered 'I know someone else who likes your ears.'

'Who?' Merlin asked, interested.

'Your Mother!'

Merlin's eyes suddenly glowed gold, and the next thing Leon knew, he had the ears of a donkey. Everyone laughed so hard they began to choke, except for Arthur who knew exactly where Merlin had got that blasted idea from.

'Merlin! Do you want to be punished?' Arthur demanded as Leon was doing something that _looked _like trying to tear the ears off.

'I'd like to see you try.'

Arthur sighed. He couldn't exactly control Merlin with the threat of punishments any more…but losing _Fanfiction_ was something entirely different.

'Merlin, if you don't change Leon back I won't tell you what else the fans said!'

That did it. Merlin muttered something and a moment later, Leon had his ears back. He touched them tentatively, and when he felt normal human flesh he sighed in relief and grinned.

'Ok, they're still going on about how great you are for saving me all those times, blah blah, and how blind I was not to notice…but I ask you, who expects there bumbling clumsy servant to be a warlock? And a powerful one at that! And they're still calling Morgause 'Miss-Too-Much-Eyeliner*' and hating Morgana's smirks…'

Everyone shuddered at that. They remembered the **Smirks of Doom **all too well.

'Gwaine, you've got another five proposals-'

'I accept them all!'

Gwen laughed. 'Gwaine, we've been through this, you can only marry ONE PERSON! Not 78755678 like you have!'

'Ah Gwennie, I'm different to everyone else. Everyone loves me…even you!'

'You wish!'

Arthur had been reading the Fanfiction while Gwen and Gwaine argued about her loving him. He had been loving it until suddenly…no, it _cou__ldn't_ be…_no_ …_yuck_…he felt the bile rising up in his throat, and then the Round Table was covered in Arthur's vomit.

'Arthur!' Gwen exclaimed. She ran to him, not caring about her dress becoming filthy. 'Arthur, what is it?' Arthur retched again, and again. Gwen grabbed the sheet and stared. When Merlin ran over he looked over her shoulder and gasped with shock.

No, no, not again, he thought. Not Merthur. The thought of him and…argh!

Arthur groaned and buried himself in Gwen's shoulder. 'Merlin' he gasped. 'Get away from me!'

'With pleasure!' Merlin said as he ran off. He had almost reached the door when he turned back and muttered a spell to clean the vomit and Gwen's dress, then disappeared.

Gwen helped Arthur into their room as he collapsed onto the bed, groaning. Gwen still had the Fanfiction paper in her hand and Arthur glared at like he expected it to jump up and bite him. He buried his head in her pillow as Gwen said. 'I think you need a good story to cheer you up.'

'I'm never reading Fanfiction again!'

Gwen laughed at that. 'Yeah you will…you can't resist reading about yourself, just skip those parts! Here's one by Maisa*, she's really good. It's about you and a pineapple…what's a Pineapple?'

In the Great Hall, Gwaine and Elyan were chuckling at a sheet that Gwen had dropped. 'And then all the girls ran in screaming for Gwaine-' Gwaine 'read.'

'You made that up!' Elyan protested.

'I did NOT!' Gwaine said, trying to hide the sheet by _sitting_ on it…

**A/N: What did you think? Please review! ;) **

*I think I saw this somewhere on FF, but I can't remember. A Disclaimer anyway!

* A nod to real-life Fanfiction writer, Naisa. She's brilliant, check her stories out!


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